I Drive A Prius!

Words Spoken:

“Uh, my name is ‘Chod,’
Not ‘Chad.’

And I drive a Prius,
And in case you didn’t know,
I cruise,
Gettin’ fifty to the gallon, yo.
Which means that I’m green
Like the money I save.
So go drive your gas guzzlers
And be Halliburton’s slaves;
MEANWHILE,
With zero contrition,
I will rub it in your face
That I have ZERO EMISSIONS!
MMM, be so jealous,
Let me bathe in your tears
With a Mac sticker on my back bumper
For each of my years.
(gasp)
That’s right,
I’m a Mac guy.
But not that it matters at all,
Why in fact, I had almost forgot
That all that that means is
I’m right and you’re not.
About what?
I don’t know,
But I’m sure that it’s true,
Because where being wrong is concerned,
I am rubber
And you are glue.
Oh, and you know what else too?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And there’s shit up your ass,
Along with my Birkenstock shoes.”

(Disclaimer: I actually do drive a Prius, so let’s not get in a tizzy about this one–DON’T HATE ME, PORTLAND, I’M ONE OF YOU!)

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