Category Poems

I Drive A Prius!

Words Spoken: “Uh, my name is ‘Chod,’ Not ‘Chad.’ And I drive a Prius, And in case you didn’t know, I cruise, Gettin’ fifty to the gallon, yo. Which means that I’m green Like the money I save. So go drive your gas guzzlers And be Halliburton’s slaves; MEANWHILE, With zero contrition, I will rub […]

The Things I Should Have Said

For all the times I could have climbed In status, romance, life, I reminisce On windows missed– It’s no small source of strife.And yet, my attitude does not Reflect such deep disdain at this, But rather does it then become The greatest source of my own bliss:The things I should have said take on New […]

Brainal Sex

The first of many (mostly idiotic) character-based spoken word pieces to follow. Words spoken: “Look, I don’t give a damn what kinda random things you’ve heard, When I speak, I make your neurons fire by the thousands At the sound of every word! ‘Cuz when I philosophize, I electrify In e-sexifyin’ ways. So girl, Give […]

Sonnet No. 6

Shall I compare thee to a Shakespeare play? Thou art more funny, less long-winded too. With nothing much about to do, I say, Of all, what measure could encompass you? For as you like of Rome and jewels to sing, Let me, your Antony, my love detail: For Cleopatra will I kingdoms bring Or at […]